Sad about alot...Happy about more!

You know how it is... I feel sad and yet I am Happy at that same time. Life is like that I suppose. Since the last time I wrote my family has suffered a loss. Things just haven't been the same since. People are distant, that shouldn't be... after a loss shouldn't we just become closer to each other? Well it doesn't always work that way, sadly. Therefore I am sad for the moment, but happy in the long run.
My journey towards weight-loss heaven has been harshly delayed, my fault, I know... And P just left this morning, for his second summer break. It will only be a week separation, only...Then it will be my birthday... I won't complain, I will enjoy. I am getting back on the track today, I am getting back on the track today, I am getting back on the track today!!! You know... stopping the Eat-A-Thon!!! I believe in me and I believe I can do this!!!! So today is a new beginning and away I GOOooooooooooo..... Wish me luck and good wishes to you as well!

Sweetest P... Sweet Memory...

I have the most wonderful man in my life, I call him P... and I also call him Sweet P, he in turn calls me Sweet V... I know, SWEET... Huh?
One year ago on Valentines Day he wrote me a poem... a poem that made me cry, sweet tears of joy and thankfulness that, God the Universe, put this man in my life! I said the title should be Yvonne, since he wrote it just for me and P agreed, so I have titled it - Yvonne.

Here is that poem:

Yvonne
Kind and lovely with soul so fair, your
laughter like raindrops that sweeten the
air: A heart that has loved and loves even
still, with gentleness of spirit the dark
valleys fill. What would one give for a
love such as this, and how does one
measure the worth of a kiss? With a touch
so tender and lips so divine, there's only
one question - will you be my Valentine?
PRH 2/14/2009

Well, what do you think I said? Yes...yes...YES..
A Million times, Yes!

Trimming up!!!!

The yard this time!!!! You know how you trim trees and then they look so much better... Well that is what I did this morning and everything looks so much better. The trees I trimmed are Crepe Myrtle's... Pink ones!! So now my grass looks like it is covered in pink ruffled confetti!!!! BeauuuuuutiFUL!!!!

The plus also being.... I get to keep the branches that I want, and look at this boooty!!!!!


It looks like Martha Stewart came for a visit!!!! LOL ....... LOVE IT!!!!

And just like these lovely trees all that was needed was a little TLC, some sweaty work, staying focused, and Ta Dah!!!! They look better than ever!!!!

So stayed focused... I will do... TLC... I will do... and the sweaty work too! To get myself looking as good as these Little Trees.....

Keep on smiling!! It works!!! V

weighing in.....

Well once again it is Wednesday.... the weigh day! So far I have lost 12 + lbs. this past week I lost a little over 2 lbs. It has been 6 weeks, and I feel so much better about myself. This week, Monday and Wednesday I have walked 2 miles, it has not been easy... my feet and legs feel sooooo heavy!! It is crazy to think that it was nothing for me to walk 2 miles a little over a year ago, then the knee injury happened and then the foot pain... and then the excuses and then the weight and then the anger and disgust with myself...
So enough already! For now - Right Now I am able to walk with NO pain and that is G-O-O-D!!! So I will pick my feet up and set them back down and Thank GOD above for my good health and the Sweetest Boyfriend EVER!!!!!

Thanks God.... You're the BEST!!!!!

Alone again.... but I'm OK...

Once more after a lovely visit with P, he has traveled back to his hometown and I am left in mine... I am always so sad after he leaves, it takes the wind out of my sails for just the tiniest bit. I know it seems silly and I really can't figure it out. When I was married, and this is after many years of course, I was always happy to have the time to myself and not have to worry about answering to anyone. Then a change happened to us both... I suppose that is why it always throws me for a LOOP when P leaves. It is only for this summer break, and the another short one in August and then at Christmas and then again in the spring!!!! That's all? Ha HA... But summer break is the longest and it is is much better than it used to be... Nuff said!!

So now I am back to concentrating on staying on track with WW. Today... Not so much! I will be over in my points and that is that... but still in control, its not like I am in front of the T.V. with a bowl full of cookie dough.... Thank you Sweet Heavenly Father and WW for that!!

Remaining positive, here's some good news last Wednesday I weighed in at 3.2 lbs less than last week. So that's good news!! I am pleased and happy to be doing the right things for me!! It does feel good. Does it feel better than eating 4 pieces of yummy thin crust veggie pizza? Maybe not, but I definitely feel better now, than I would after that gut busta!!! HA Ha... Physically and mentally too!! When I make my life about food, I am so miserable! And I absolutlely don't like myself, that is the part that probably makes me miserable... so let's hear it for loving me and good choices and the most wonderful man EVER, who is so supportive in my WW journey... Thank you Sweet P.... Wherever you are!!! I feel your love and support, and for that I am most grateful!

And It Has Begun... YEAH!!!

Well things are sooooo much better!!! I have actually joined Weight Watchers, about 4 or 5 weeks ago! I felt better from the moment I joined, yes it is about losing weight.... But in the long run for me it is about being back in control! There are times when all I want to do is EAT... But HELLO!!! When has that not been the case lately, now I am being held accountable, by myself and a higher power - The Lady at the scales... I always feel judged by her, but I know she really isn't, I hope.... She has been there, she knows!!
The first week I lost just over 6 lbs!.. I was shocked, the next week I lost 1lb.... I was shocked, cause I had been mini-breaking with P all weekend and even though I was under control, we did eat GOOD! The next week I was good, and I gained 1lb! LOL Who knows? The main thing is I was not devastated, I was not mad, I didn't feel cheated, nor did I feel the need to defend myself, I did nothing wrong... I just have a better feeling about me and what I am doing, and that makes me HAPPY!!!
Being back in control, back to walking, soon I will be back to my 2 mile a day habit, for now I am going slowly and SURELY and I L-O-V-E- I-T!!! And I am starting to love me again, now that's a good thing!!!!! :-)

Me....

I am so unhappy with myself that it is affecting my attitude about everything.... About 5 years ago I started a weight loss/get myself under control journey. I lost a little more than 80 lbs. By following a very strict food program, based on AA type program called Compulsive Eaters Anon. Once I reached my goal weight of course I started eating 'normally' again... so of course some of the weight crept back on and I began to panic... so I was back at it, coupled with the fact that I met a WONDERFUL man.. who for various reason did not take our relationship seriously until we had been dating for almost 2 years... so I was trying hard, with the diet and exercise... trying hard to be perfect, trying hard to be everything but me... too bad! Fast forward to now.. I am very happy in my relationship but why is it when I get happy are feel secure, I start letting certain things go? Shouldn't it be the opposite? Shouldn't I try harder to feel good about myself and look good for my MAN? You would think soooooo, maybe if I was normal!
So now I must recognize and get back on track!! For no other reason, but that I like myself better when I am thinner... I will never be skinny, I can live with that, Just want to be thinner.. Not impossible! And definitely more active!! For ME!!! and maybe my man will enjoy the newer me too!!!!!!
I will hold myself accountable here.. Today - I did the Cruise Moves! YEAH.. now eating healthy is the next step! It doesn't help that I am surrounded by Chocolate everyday at work!!! So I must be VERY Strong!! and write it down.. If I eat it... I will write it down!